when i was in college and high school, i firmly believe that i can separate and keep my personal life and acdemics away from each other. i mean, whatever happens in my personal life, my acads would never get affected. separate life as they are, i thought i have been doing good dealing with them differently, until just recently, i experienced one interesting psychological mechanism. i had some problem with my love one just last week, its so painful but i chose to be understanding and forgiving on the other hand. i thought i dealt with it fine like how i deal with my other concerns, i admitted to myself that i got hurt, but being angry wont lead you to anything. so there i was, not mourning and being OA for that, going to work, taking calls, just being normal, just normal. and then the week went by, i started having palpitations with no apparent reason, started being nervous for no reason at all, getting restless without any reason and my QA scores failed....the QA asked me if i have any problems, i told her none, my TL asked me whats bothering me, i told here none, and then i came to realize that i might have one. i told her everything, i told anj, i might have exprienced repression, the conscious denila nd hiding of painful experiences, but i said, i was not aware that i have one nor did i deny and pain im feeling. so it was suppression, unconscious hiding of it, and then psychosomatization for my physical symptoms. i was dead scared!..so what i did, i drank!..got drunk!!..threw up and tried to deal with it normally!..the good thing is, im busy so i wont be stucked up with pain that i thought should not be there. im now okay. we are now okay. everything should turn out well already.

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 07, 2008 at 12:23 PM. |