Thursday, December 27, 2007

code blue

in a relationship, there would come a time where one or both of you would need some space, because your too familiar with each other, always there like 24/7 and so on, you tend to get used to and be fed up with the presence of each other..and saving your relationship would be the action to be done. in the hospital setting, we call this CODE BLUE or cardio respiratory arrest, wherein the medical team do all they can to cave the life of the patient. in love, one of the partners would save it and the other would be the patient. intubation would be vital just like talking abuot this and that. the openness to each other gives airway and breathing to the dying rel. it enables them to release and talk about their concerns. the epinephrines are the efforts that you put to revive the dying heart. it is the extra sweetness despite the coldness. it is the indifference despite reality. it is the understanding despite pain. it is love despite death. simultaneously, the external compression that we put to circulate blood all over the body, it is the reality that bites us every step we take, we all know that external compression is dangerous, it could fracture the sternum, bruise the chest and might give a mind blowing chest pain after. the efforts that we make, the steps that we take and all the things that we do could be just a pain that we save unknowingly. saving a relationship is code blue. code blue might save the life of the patient but is still unsure of its outcome.

often, we wish we could just sign the dnr form and let us die. but life doesnt end with one love. we knew people. we might fall inlove again. but CODE BLUE would always be there no matter what.

Monday, December 24, 2007

recall

i couldnt remember the last time i spent christmas dinner and christmas day with my dad. he's in china and as we all know they don't have christian holidays there so holidays like ours isn't a big deal like their chinese new year. so here i am, turning 20 on the 4th of january and couldnt recall a christmas moment with my dad. i know it's work. but sometimes i feel regretful when i realize that i couldn't think of a christmas holiday that i'm with him personally. it is not that he doesnt go home, he does, but not on christmas, often when school's over so he could spent time with us. i wish that before i finally mature (i'd be graduating this march and hopefully get a job afterwards) i would have a memorable christmas dinner and day with him. i remember years ago that my mom and my sisters would pose for a picture with a poster that says "merry christmas daddy, we love you"...it's the time when cellphones and emails arent as popular as now..i know he misses us and would love to spend this night and tomorrow with us..i know that he wanted us to remember a christmas moment with him..i know someday we will..i miss you dad.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

history


sometimes we fall inlove to someone whos not sure...

we give everything we can..show our feelings to the fullest, make them feel that they are the best person in the world and yet we feel uncontented to what they are showing us. i know it's not right to expect when you give but when your philosophy about the universe is yin and yang and fairness, you end up shattered and haunted by the ghost of yesterday (your past experiences)..history can repeat itself....

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

cold remedy

inspired by reva's post in multiply...

last week, we travelled aguinaldo hway, coastal road, roxas blvd and way to sta cruz to fabella hospital for our 10-6 PICU duty. i never anticipated that i would be having my duty in the wee hours of the night when everyone is playing in lala-land. armed with 2 shots of sachet coffee in my starbs tumbler and lots of kwentos with the bitches, we enjoyed and glazed at the magnificent lights along the road. who said night travel is bad?! it is in fact the best travel time i did. i was so amazed with the balls in different colors hanging in mid air, feeling sentimental and nostalgic especially this season. i missed those days. 3 nights of it would really have you searching for it after. this is change. a change in the umc routine. a change in environment.

cold remedy

last week, we travelled aguinaldo hway, coastal road, roxas blvd and way to sta cruz to fabella hospital for our 10-6 PICU duty. i never anticipated that i would be having my duty in the wee hours of the night when everyone is playing in lala-land. armed with 2 shots of sachet coffee in my starbs tumbler and lots of kwentos with the bitches, we enjoyed and glazed at the magnificent lights along the road. who said night travel is bad?! it is in fact the best travel time i did. i was so amazed with the balls in different colors hanging in mid air, feeling sentimental and nostalgic especially this season. i missed those days. 3 nights of it would really have you searching for it after. this is change. a change in the umc routine. a change in environment.