invisble love

All throughout my life, I’m legal now; I’ve witnessed people tying the knot, couples getting engaged, and friends getting attached. All these people are bonded by the mysterious thing called love. Love seems to over rule the world, it seems to show itself to people, they say it makes them happy; like a drug that causes unconditional and indifferent feeling of cloud nine but I came to believe that this love has never shown itself to me.
I daresay believe that I have not met love, seen, felt or by the use of my physiologic senses sensed it. I have met different people, some I thought I loved but eventually I come to realize that it is just a faint overwhelming and self assuming feeling that it is love. But why have love forsaken me? Why did love forget to pass by my street? Why haven’t it manifested to any of my sensitive senses? Or is it just me being so naïve, insensitive and repulsive to the feeling that people show me? Should I blame it on my past life; that I have done something to be treated like this?
On my scientific observation on the behaviors of people who said they’re under love’s spell, it shows that love is simply these things. Love is when two people liked to eat together sweetly. When the other helps the other eat and offers his or her drink. Love is when you hold hands along the mall, the over crowded street and on the jeepney ride. Love is when you smooch around whenever you can even on public places and on the risk of being ridiculed. It is when you exchange your oral juices with each other, thinking that this is a sign of your love. It is when you date; catch a romantic flick and try to snatch a smooch over the movie. It is when you lay your head on each other’s shoulder, expecting it to be there always. It is when you shower each other simple gifts to lavish ones, spoiling each other to the most unreasonable desire. It is love, when you publicly fight, professing your love while the other narrates what you have done and trying to appear to be on a movie. It is when you text each other all day long quotes of love and personalized affection messages. It is when you can’t seem to be contented asking if you have eaten but to ask all the minute details instead. It is when you cry over petty things, and thought it was the end of your damn world. It is when you celebrate monthly and count how long have you been together. But, again because of my doubting and insecure ego, I tried to decipher what love really is, being unknown to others.
Unknown to many, I believe that love is not about the shallowness of human actions but the formation of an eternal mystery that seems to hide itself from me but is believed to be ubiquitous in this damn world. Love is when we learn to sacrifice for others without expecting anything in return. The unconditional love for someone is immeasurable, not by money, by neither time spent nor any selfish satisfaction we know, for to give up something we are soulfully attached is not easy but for the genuine love for another, this difficulty would nonetheless be easy. Love is when hostility is absent, but rather a selfless, caring and compassionate attitude is seen. It is clearly obvious to a mother’s love for her child, a dad’s care for his gentle treasure. It is when you try your best not to cause harm, to give your love one your care by all means. It is when you understand his or her most shallow reasons, unlike attitude and childish tantrums. It is when your ears are always ready to hear his or her thoughts, without the fear of being condemned. It is love when you trust your life to the other. It is when doubts are set free and your hearts are pure. It is when negative thoughts vanished and you learn to appreciate every futile thing, no matter what it is that he or she does. It is when you realize that you are now connected to each other by an invisible silver cord that grips your hearts fully.
Love is not when you think of the other always, it is when you realize that you are the other and the other is you, making you one that whatever you do to him or her is also doing it to yourself. I am writing this for the reason that I can’t seem to digest the fact that love has not come my way. I think this would make me realized what I’ve been missing just in case or what I should look into and not expect something cheesy that the world is telling us.


JT. Abordo 2006