code blue

in a relationship, there would come a time where one or both of you would need some space, because your too familiar with each other, always there like 24/7 and so on, you tend to get used to and be fed up with the presence of each other..and saving your relationship would be the action to be done. in the hospital setting, we call this CODE BLUE or cardio respiratory arrest, wherein the medical team do all they can to cave the life of the patient. in love, one of the partners would save it and the other would be the patient. intubation would be vital just like talking abuot this and that. the openness to each other gives airway and breathing to the dying rel. it enables them to release and talk about their concerns. the epinephrines are the efforts that you put to revive the dying heart. it is the extra sweetness despite the coldness. it is the indifference despite reality. it is the understanding despite pain. it is love despite death. simultaneously, the external compression that we put to circulate blood all over the body, it is the reality that bites us every step we take, we all know that external compression is dangerous, it could fracture the sternum, bruise the chest and might give a mind blowing chest pain after. the efforts that we make, the steps that we take and all the things that we do could be just a pain that we save unknowingly. saving a relationship is code blue. code blue might save the life of the patient but is still unsure of its outcome.

often, we wish we could just sign the dnr form and let us die. but life doesnt end with one love. we knew people. we might fall inlove again. but CODE BLUE would always be there no matter what.

recall

i couldnt remember the last time i spent christmas dinner and christmas day with my dad. he's in china and as we all know they don't have christian holidays there so holidays like ours isn't a big deal like their chinese new year. so here i am, turning 20 on the 4th of january and couldnt recall a christmas moment with my dad. i know it's work. but sometimes i feel regretful when i realize that i couldn't think of a christmas holiday that i'm with him personally. it is not that he doesnt go home, he does, but not on christmas, often when school's over so he could spent time with us. i wish that before i finally mature (i'd be graduating this march and hopefully get a job afterwards) i would have a memorable christmas dinner and day with him. i remember years ago that my mom and my sisters would pose for a picture with a poster that says "merry christmas daddy, we love you"...it's the time when cellphones and emails arent as popular as now..i know he misses us and would love to spend this night and tomorrow with us..i know that he wanted us to remember a christmas moment with him..i know someday we will..i miss you dad.

history

sometimes we fall inlove to someone whos not sure...

we give everything we can..show our feelings to the fullest, make them feel that they are the best person in the world and yet we feel uncontented to what they are showing us. i know it's not right to expect when you give but when your philosophy about the universe is yin and yang and fairness, you end up shattered and haunted by the ghost of yesterday (your past experiences)..history can repeat itself....

cold remedy

inspired by reva's post in multiply...

last week, we travelled aguinaldo hway, coastal road, roxas blvd and way to sta cruz to fabella hospital for our 10-6 PICU duty. i never anticipated that i would be having my duty in the wee hours of the night when everyone is playing in lala-land. armed with 2 shots of sachet coffee in my starbs tumbler and lots of kwentos with the bitches, we enjoyed and glazed at the magnificent lights along the road. who said night travel is bad?! it is in fact the best travel time i did. i was so amazed with the balls in different colors hanging in mid air, feeling sentimental and nostalgic especially this season. i missed those days. 3 nights of it would really have you searching for it after. this is change. a change in the umc routine. a change in environment.

cold remedy

last week, we travelled aguinaldo hway, coastal road, roxas blvd and way to sta cruz to fabella hospital for our 10-6 PICU duty. i never anticipated that i would be having my duty in the wee hours of the night when everyone is playing in lala-land. armed with 2 shots of sachet coffee in my starbs tumbler and lots of kwentos with the bitches, we enjoyed and glazed at the magnificent lights along the road. who said night travel is bad?! it is in fact the best travel time i did. i was so amazed with the balls in different colors hanging in mid air, feeling sentimental and nostalgic especially this season. i missed those days. 3 nights of it would really have you searching for it after. this is change. a change in the umc routine. a change in environment.

im sickly..

I was tagged by joyjoy!

Here are the rules:
1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3. Pick your month of birth.
4. Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5. Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.(ayaw ko i follow ito)hehehe
6. Let the person who tagged you know when you've done it!

4th of january....Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

The Twelve Months

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

sneakers...

how often do you wear your sneakers???they're comfy, affordable and nice...

how much do you love them???what colors do you have???

love..

to fall for someone who lives across the sea,
is a sacrifice day and night..
to give your heart to someone you love..
is the best thing that our hearts could feel..
despite the profound distance...
they will still love each other completely..
love yah baby..

pardon to the nation

the recent ERAP pardon has not sunk into my mind until this morning when i read yesterdays sunday broadsheets.

i would agree with patricia evangelista that "this pardon doesn't mean stability, or healing, or justice. It is Estrada's middle finger shoved up the country's collective consciousness, but it's happened so often that it feels almost normal".

the country's law makers, the leaders and the law itself was overpowered by the selfish will of a big time social criminal!! there are thousands of criminals (accussed and proven guilty) who are imprisoned in low class prison jails, most often, when proven guilty, being humane and caring is forgotten. ordinary lawbreakers satisfy themselves with overflowing lugaw, harsh treatment, unsanitary restrooms, jampacked cells, cold and wet floors and the worst retribution that can be given to a criminal. take note that they somehow experience this all regardless of the gravity and extent of their crime, from robbery to murder, from physical abuse to rape. and here comes mr. estrada, proven by the highest court in the country in the eyes of all it's people, sitting and enjoying a "simple life" in his tanay home. i daresay that it wasnt even a detention!

how in your proper mind and without any internal arrangement would you give presidential pardon to someone who showered himself with the money of the nation while millions of the pinoys are thinking where to get there next meal or if they would survive tomorrow. what came into the mind of our president to grant him that pardon that is tantamount to taking forgranted the crimes that he have done. the law applies to everyone no matter what. but the law fails to cover the high ends of the society. those that approves and makes it are now excused. how come a proven guilty criminal with not just one criminal case did not suffer like those in city jail and muntinlupa jail and those that is guilty with physical abuse suffers like hell?

what is the cost of JUSTICE in the Philippines?

it is degrading to think that the bloodstained land of our country is the nest of unjust and incompetent law people.
that the people we expect to give proper punishements would just paperdolls and followers of their hailed hero.
it is a slap in the faces of the parents of those littlekids who wants to become lawyers and politicians someday.
it is shameful to our ancestors who fought for justice and equality to see this unjust disregard of a major crime.
it is a demolition of the people's pride from revolutions and peaceful organizations of the thoughts of the concerns.
it is tantamount to erasing edsa revs in our history books.
it is an official announcement that our government patronizes robbers of the national properties, straight from the pockets of the poor people.

im sorry, but the governent will have to make a major change before we could even reach the start of stability, healing and justice, and so far and as of now, that start is not on their plans.

fun stuff

1. i finished watching GREYS ANATOMY season 3..and for those that have not watched it or is still watching it..stop!!

i like what addison montgomery said to karev

"we do not get unlimited chances to get that things that we want, dont miss a chance that could change your life."...ganda no?

-the raise for being the chief of surgery wa so exciting.. i think addison would be a great chief of surgery but it turned out that the chief wanted derek to be his replacement and not burke which is his first choice. but derek doesnt want to be the the choice....i hope bailey gets the job since she didnt get the chief resident surgery

-yang and burke's wedding didnt happen!>..i was so shocked...burke is such an asshole!

-im really looking forward to the 4th season...so nakakabitin!

2. my friend told me that cockfighting is in our culture as well as corruption...i told him im against cockfighting, its cruelty to animals. even though we eat it and cook it, we dont play with it until it dies like sabong....i told him, its degrading to hear that a foul act (corruption) is a part of our culture no matter what, we all know that culture is what binds us and it is the heritage from our ancestors and to the next generations..

stereotypical love..

we often assume that love is sweet..honest..perfect and ideal...but we forget to include its bitternes. the poison that is coated with its superficial sweetness.

love is not what we always thought it is...just take for example those MISMATCH couples.the movies show us picture perfect couples but realty presents us with the opposite...

same sex relationships...they may say its not long lasting but there are some that are really strong..

love may be so complicated but just enjoy the moment..dont live yesterday or tomorrow but live today...

bench is beauty

i practically was brought up with the name BENCH at our household..my dad works for Ben Chan's brother..so he always bring me to BENCH whenever we comes home from China. I remember that when i needed a new polo shirt for the babtism of my cousin, i went to Bench to get a new Blue polo shirt but was scolded by my grandma because of my "kaartehan". but every now and then, and whenever i go to the malls. i never fail to vist BENCH. although their designs are nnot my type anymore, i still wish that i would one day get a new pair of shirt or whatever. their scents are great. i used atlantis before, who doesnt?! then dad gave me wired..my first ever perfume that lasted for a year since i wasnt that fragance conscious. then theres their slippers..i love them..those flipflops are relaxing to the feet. then i love their caps..i think i have a few and wouldlove to buy new ones again...

bitterness and denial

discovry and realization is the first stage of a breakup. discovery of the unfaithfulness is like a BOLUS fast IV push of penicilin...like splash of ice cold fucking water...and an incision without anesthesia..to discover is to swallow all your dreams for the two of you. then denial would come next..apathetic on all the events. seems nothing happened. the feelings are so heavy that you think your gonna be somatized. i cant breath and speak. but after it, the tears would flood the room. endless tears and blaming. rationalization of what he did and such but then you'd realize with the comfort of your friends that reality bites but you deserve better. stupidity is the common ilnes of intelligent people.....

confusion

love is all about confusion..
we always think that the brghtest of signs are of what we see at the moment, but remember that these stars are just floaters in the vast universe. when you'll look behind these shining elements, you'll realize how ambiguous these blinding stars are.

the solar system has one sun that provides it with day and night, happiness and sorrow and smiles and frowns..but the eart doesn't revolve only in the sun. it still has numerous and thousands of stars awaiting for it's attention.

What would you do if another star provides the life that you need and want?

standards of living

when i was young, i always dreamed of being a veterinarian. the obligation and desire to take care of pets as i called them is so strong that i carried that ambition until my early years of high school then i realized that i would not earn that much on that profession (askals are eaten) so i shifted my ambition into being an ECE, thanks to my tito who told me that i would be climbing network towers and fix it if i'm gonna be one, then on my senior year in HS, i suddenly wanted to become a nurse, of course from the influence of many influenece..hahaha..(i know it's grammatically incorrect). anyway, i applied in lasalle for nursing,ECE and brodjourn as my choices. then i got into nursing, but not into ECE.hahaha.i was not disappointed though because it wasn't my first choice and i really don't plan to take it but it makes me laugh when i remember it.

now im on my senior year in nursing, and as they say, lasallian nurses are tough and well holistic. hahaha. i wouldn't daresay and wouldn't allow anyone to say that nursing in lasalle is easy. it is HARD! NURSING is hard at least. hahaha. and it's expensive. im not sure about the tution fees in UST and UP but ours is quite expensive. it's worth it i'd say. no hassles for vehicles to rent etc. anyway, then i wanted to become a US nurse, this and that.....the usual filipino dream, but that wouldnt be the epitome of my professional growth. i want to become a doctor, a dermatologist. i would want to work as a nurse until im 30 then go to med school. by the time im 40, id be a derma..hahaha..that's my plans...and let god and my ambition help me achieve my standard of living.

whats yours?

deathly hallows..

if you have not read the 7th and last installment of the HP series...don't continue..
if you don't want any comments and spoilers..don't continue..

i just finished reading the book..and to my dismay and furiousness..i just can't stop thinking if Rowling should make another one..

and im really glad that Ron andHermione got married 19 yers after....the same with Harry and Ginny..
-i was thrilled with Harry and Ginny's children:Albus Severus, Lily and James

And yes, Voldemort died at last..

i wish i can do magic as well...seems interesting..hahaha...

EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!!!!!!

criticism over a good book

i have been in intrigued with the good remarks about this book and i managed to borrow a copy from Nats. I was so eager to read it, just as i am with HP7 but i was disappointed as i go on with it.

Let's look into the good side of this book first:

-its educatioanl

-interesting

-lesson bounded

-God inspired

-inpiring (ano pa nga ba?!)

but what i don't like about this are:

-it is monotonous

-slow pacing events

-boring

im a broad reader but it just fails my expectations.

visual dna..

i got this link from joyjoy....so i tried it..

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

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corals at stake

this, people of the blogging world is one of the greatest coral reef shot that i got from yahoo. who knows how many years back when this photo was taken.

this on the other hand is what is happening on present times. one place to be exact is in zamboanga.

i saw from jessica soho's tv show last night this awful reality. the badjaos, the watermen and a native of zamboanga , dives at a depth of 40 feet and gets corals of every kind to sell to businessmen for export. now people may have weird jobs but what shocked me was its cheap value, 10php for an average sized coral. those coral reefs took a hundred years to for, hundred generation to build and have endured countless storms and sunshine. they have witnessed sea miracles, saw countless sea creatures feed on them and made their most feeble way to propagate themselves little by little over a centuries time.

now im calling upon those who wanted to make changes, the candidates for this election.

you, lawmakers should put some attention on what is happening and not on what you wanted to happen always. it is sad to say that our rich and beloved philippines resources would just be a history in the near future if no actions would take place. those minute and sparse coral harvesting might not be an obvious problem but once we put it all together, the damaged would be seen. take actions like how you promised and said it. think of the children who wantedto enjoy the view of those corals in person and not just in the books and magazines. think of the effort of mother earth tp build those for the benefit of all. think of God's blessing and how you would value it. and for one time, dont think of what youre gonna get if you'd put an end on those illegal actions but what youre people would get instead.

earth day...

Today is april 22 and we celebrate earth day..

Earth is like a friend..

Care for it and it stays..

Take it forgranted and it leaves..

Verse 1
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Chorus
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Verse 2
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to god he hears you and
Chorus
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Verse 3
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came
Chorus (2)
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Chorus (2)
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life